The morning after

She thought it befitting that the weather was stormy and warm on the morning after the last night they were together. Time spent with him had always been charged with excitement, yet somehow cozy and comfortable at the same time.

Determined not to slip into melancholy, she forced her thoughts to various directions away from anything that might remotely relate to him. While twisting her hair into a loosely neat bun, she listed to a sermon podcast about God’s wisdom; appropriately titled, “The Foolishness of God”. The message set her mind to things outside of herself, and kept at bay the general feeling of separation one tends to experience when the season for a close relationship has come to an end.

Our wisdom, as it relates to understanding of the human experience and life here on earth, does indeed differ from that of God’s; and not just when viewed from the Christian perspective. This teaching wasn’t new to her, but this morning, she heard it with a new understanding; the understanding that we truly understood very little, if anything at all. All of us, from the time we were blessed with conscious awareness, have been searching to make sense of the outside world and the inner psyche. We may come to a period where we think we have it all figured out and then, from out of the cosmos, some circumstance forces us to reconsider our philosophy; to reinvent ourselves.

Her mind meandered through this realm of contemplation as she packed her tote, grabbed her keys and umbrella, and prepared to plug back into the world. She wondered, if our wisdom continually shifts depending on our circumstances, would it be sensible to try living by a more enduring wisdom? Would it be possible to manage her life, to connect with others, according to a more productive, more enriching and healthful intelligence?

How could a person such as herself; someone who, over the course of several decades, has formed habits and ways of responding to the world, begin such an adjustment? Considering, also, the constant barrage of directives received from our society, she thought it impossible to accomplish something of this magnitude on her own. If she decided to move forward, she would need help; an abundance of help.

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3 thoughts on “The morning after

  1. Such fascinating questions…..that you can access them is a step forward…being aware of the world around you and how you respond to it is a tough step to take as so often it pushes us out of our comfort zones but I like that your character admits to needing help at the end another positive feature. Well done, hope your moving forward happens as you’d like it despite all the interference the cosmos will put in your way.

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    1. Thanks Michael! I think this is something many people face multiple times throughout their lives. I also think that many people tend to shy away from talking about this struggle because it isn’t really socially acceptable to admit we don’t have it all figured out, or that what society is feeding us sometimes doesn’t really make much sense. This character I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about has so much of me in her, but also so much of many other women I know. Thanks for the encouragement! -Billie

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      1. I think you are absolutely right about people shying away from those questions….for many people, me included, each day can be a magical mystery tour and I like that about it, its so easy to fall into the predictability of life and allow ourselves to be governed by societies whims….good luck Billie with what you are doing….

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